D&D: Five Ways to Stop a Tarrasque
The Tarrasque is an unstoppable, all-devouring beast of myth and legend until your DM told you to roll initiative.
We’ve all been there. You show up for game night like normal, and the DM has this strange grin on their face the whole time. They don’t even flinch when your usual brand of hijinks goes off the rails. Instead, there’s just a strange sort of acceptance. Right up until they get out of the battlemat, and pull out a Tarrasque mini. What can you do? Well, besides wondering where they got a Tarrasque mini in the first place (it was probably Etsy), here are five ways you can deal with a rampaging Tarrasque.
The ‘Thanksgiving Dinner’ Solution
The key to defeating any monster is understanding what drives it. We can get a few clues as to its motivation from its stat block.
There’s a lot here, but the most relevant part is unaligned. The Tarrasque isn’t inherently evil. It’s just a big destructive monster that wants to eat–so why not help it eat? They say that the Tarrasque has a legendary appetite–but what if you could prepare a Feast for it? That’s where we turn our attention to a little spell called Heroes’ Feast.
This involves a little creative rules interpretation–up to twelve creatures can participate in a Heroes’ Feast, but it never specifies what size. And it’s magic food. So one spell might be enough to feed the Tarrasque.
But even if your DM doesn’t go for that right off the bat, you can ask them how many large creatures it could feed–and once you’re there, you’re just a stone’s throw away from getting your DM to wonder just how many castings of the spell it would take to sate the tarrasque… and once you have that you’re golden. The tarrasque will get sleepy afterward, and then you’ve saved the town, and you don’t have to have a parade where everyone feels bad that you killed it like they did with the real-life tarrasque.
The Tarrasque’s Hide is Too Thick From the Outside
You know exactly where this one is going. But let’s go for a walk anyway. The Tarrasque has a powerful Reflective Carapace which reads as follows:
Any time the tarrasque is targeted by a magic missile spell, a line spell, or a spell that requires a ranged attack roll, roll a d6. On a 1 to 5, the tarrasque is unaffected. On a 6, the tarrasque is unaffected, and the effect is reflected back at the caster as though it originated from the tarrasque, turning the caster into the target.
This basically amounts to spells that require an attack roll or are in a line doing nothing against the tarrasque from the Outside. After all, a carapace is a reflective covering. All you have to do is get yourself resistant to Acid (although if you’re a caster, resistance and absorb elements will be your best friend) and get swallowed up. On the inside, you’ll only take about 56 points of acid damage per turn (cut to 28 if you’re resistant and 14 if you absorb elements), which is pretty survivable. Then you can cast to your heart’s content.
If your DM says the tarrasque’s internal organs are covered in a reflective coating as well… I feel for you. Keep reading.
Becoming Tarrasque
This solution requires you to have access to 9th-level spells, at which point you’ve got the world at your fingertips. But even something like Wish has a chance to backfire and carry out unforeseen consequences. There’s one that won’t, though.
Thanks to Animorphs Generator
With this spell, you can become a second Tarrasque. The only way to fight a monster is with a monster of your own. You get all its abilities, plus your allies can heal you, and also, you don’t die when you drop to 0 hit points. You just become yourself again.
Take the Bait
Okay, so your DM is a wet blanket and hates fun. You can’t kill the Tarrasque from the inside out. And they ruled you can’t shapechange into the Tarrasque or feed it with magic. The other tried and true plan is to become big juicy targets that can outrun it. Use regular Polymorph or something to become as big as you can–then use something like Prestidigitation to make yourself smell appetizing. The Tarrasque only has a 40ft movement speed… you’ve got more than that. Then all you have to do is lure it away from civilization, back to Monster Island, where it can fight Rodan or King Ghidorah or whomever.
Bonus points if you have a clone waiting and you sacrifice your meat body as food for the Tarrasque.
Someone Else’s Problem
When all else fails, Plane Shift is your answer to everything. Just leave the material plane behind for a while and let someone else deal with it. Or if you’re feeling extra brave, use it offensively on the Tarrasque and make that monstrous godbeast some other plane’s problem.
Good luck dealing with the Tarrasque! Let us know your favorite strategies for dealing with the Tarrasque in the comments.
